Tonight I don’t want to remember. I’m fucking tired of sitting with cigarettes between the spaces of my fingertips, one where your’s should live. I’m tired of nibbling nails, grinding down to skin to hide from lonely thoughts. I spend my seconds reminiscing and I just can’t anymore. It’s as though we’ve grown too exhausted to speak, but it doesn’t mean the desire has disappeared. It’s still existing in all our broken strings just waiting for us to breath it out through hanging teeth. Because we’ve always had such beautiful potential and we’ve always lived up to it. We’re just settling, leaving the tides to pull at one another beneath our bed sheets until equilibrium is collared. But we’ve never been balanced and so it takes it’s time to compose; but we’ll wait. We always do don’t we? But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. God damn. I have half loved you from the very moment we indulged in our eyes touching. You gazed passed my corners, looked thoroughly beyond my demons to seek my soul. No one has ever managed to find what I hide but you knew where to look. 
Memories sink these concrete bones, erasing them to dust with they’re palms. It’s hard for me, to spend these hours astray, but i need to. In what feels like years since I saw you, I have grown. And there are shadows tucked away beneath us that rise and leave me crying. They bleed me dry because although soon enough it will only be a few days until you return to me, they leave reminders that you aren’t here for long. Because your arms hold lies through sharp tongues, reaching for me, comforting me yet I know it will expire. And I am scared, fuck I am scared. But we’ll transpire like full moons until the day you will go. We are static and we are wonderful, and I am not scared of that. But I need this empty wind to feed me peppermint and chill, to numb my bones from this ache, to help me sink. I long for you, every second and inch of you and I can’t have that. My selfish spine dreams of you, a dream that leaves me whispers. Your chasing your future and I am proud. Selfish, but proud. But you have that promise upon your lips and with that your wrists will pull at me, and I will let you draw me in.