Tonight I don’t want to remember. I’m fucking tired of sitting with cigarettes between the spaces of my fingertips, one where your’s should live. I’m tired of nibbling nails, grinding down to skin to hide from lonely thoughts. I spend my seconds reminiscing and I just can’t anymore. It’s as though we’ve grown too exhausted to speak, but it doesn’t mean the desire has disappeared. It’s still existing in all our broken strings just waiting for us to breath it out through hanging teeth. Because we’ve always had such beautiful potential and we’ve always lived up to it. We’re just settling, leaving the tides to pull at one another beneath our bed sheets until equilibrium is collared. But we’ve never been balanced and so it takes it’s time to compose; but we’ll wait. We always do don’t we? But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. God damn. I have half loved you from the very moment we indulged in our eyes touching. You gazed passed my corners, looked thoroughly beyond my demons to seek my soul. No one has ever managed to find what I hide but you knew where to look. 
Memories sink these concrete bones, erasing them to dust with they’re palms. It’s hard for me, to spend these hours astray, but i need to. In what feels like years since I saw you, I have grown. And there are shadows tucked away beneath us that rise and leave me crying. They bleed me dry because although soon enough it will only be a few days until you return to me, they leave reminders that you aren’t here for long. Because your arms hold lies through sharp tongues, reaching for me, comforting me yet I know it will expire. And I am scared, fuck I am scared. But we’ll transpire like full moons until the day you will go. We are static and we are wonderful, and I am not scared of that. But I need this empty wind to feed me peppermint and chill, to numb my bones from this ache, to help me sink. I long for you, every second and inch of you and I can’t have that. My selfish spine dreams of you, a dream that leaves me whispers. Your chasing your future and I am proud. Selfish, but proud. But you have that promise upon your lips and with that your wrists will pull at me, and I will let you draw me in.  

1 year and 7 months.

I can’t get over how time has passed so quickly. But we are beautiful, and despite the saying we are not strong. We are weak, lonely and aching from these oceans that leave our hearts distant - but we are making it. We are trying and we are winning. And that leaves me proud. 
We are definite; that is all that matters. We are definite.  

you wither away like a violet’s soul, far from the corners of my fingers; to places in which i can’t seem to find you no matter how hard i try. your a mixture of honeydew and coffee, the stale smell of cigarettes slicing sharp from your tongue as you speak. it’s that sense of home i miss indefinitely, the scent that forever bleeds me dry and exhilarates me both at a time. Energy has begun to vacate from me, evading my veins to leave me exhausted. But i am happy. You make me happy. and i sit rotating with the dirt i stand on, my thoughts swimming within my palms. I sit day in day out reading these pretty little ramblings as though i were a fortune teller who knows not what they are doing, rearranging them in awkward ways. A medium never destined to others fortunes but, knowing how to keep those satisfied. I need not those pessimistic doubts, as I am content with you. I leave you muddled within my fine-tuned thoughts. I am content with you. 

Our fights torment me more than you know. 

you are always my valentine.

Anonymous asked: What did you and jade do on valentines?

We don’t celebrate valentines day. 

Subjecting our love to one day when it deserves to be celebrated each and every single day of our lives doesn’t appeal to us. For us, every second is our valentines. 

Today is a dreary day. 
The air feels somewhat refreshing as the light grows limited due to the clouds courageously fighting with the skies to had the sun and it’s radiance. The streets are filled with violent energy whilst the rain floods the streets, making waves of pretty patterns; the mixture of wind and empty ghosts clashing together to create dancing figures. I constantly hold these mornings within the palm of my hand; what once made me feel incredibly desolate has left me feeling full. 
Sometimes I need a reminder of how fragile everything truly is, and you constantly expose that small factor to my eyes, like papercuts to my skin. We erupted in a fit of ache, staying up for hours talking about the way our relationship to one another has begun to become. Where our breath has become scarce and we transpire in lonely sorrow. You know the right ways to replenish my broken soul. Where I spend days subsisting instead of living and your precious whispers find it exhausting to support my delirious self. To find warmth where it barely exists; when you know yourself that all i need is to experience bliss once again. To run through the streets when the night grows cold and silent dodging solitary cars whilst letting laughter pierce our fingertips. To leave the house spontaneously and just walk until our legs collapse. To gaze at the stars and remind ourselves that we are here, we are growing. We are breathing. 
I find your kindness towards my state incredibly exhilarating and I appreciate every small, wonderful thing you do. I love you.

Anonymous asked: Your writing is truly truly beautiful. Wow.

thank you, but it’s only beautiful because it’s about our love. 
that’s what makes it beautiful. 

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